This question came up during a private event Q&A and the entire room nodded along. Honestly? I felt it too.
If you’re a Type A overachiever who struggles with hobbies – whether you feel guilty for not having them, or you genuinely want some but can’t figure out where to start – this post is for you.
But before we dive in, here’s the reframe that changes everything: it’s not about having hobbies for the sake of self-care. It’s about finding what fulfills you and what restores you. Those are two very different things and understanding the difference is where everything starts.
Why You Have No Life Outside Work: The Real Reason
For high performers, hobbies can feel really, genuinely difficult to engage in. And it goes deeper than just being busy.
The most common reason is that we tie everything to productivity. If something isn’t monetized – if you’re not being rewarded for it in some way – it can feel lazy or wasteful to spend time on it. That guilt is incredibly common in high achievers.
But here’s something I discovered through years of work with my therapist: for a lot of us, this need to constantly over-perform is actually a trauma response. For me personally, it stemmed from spending a lot of time alone as a young kid. I had a younger brother who was special needs, and my parents’ attention naturally went to him. I filled that alone time by staying busy and productive and it became hardwired.
I share this because if you recognize yourself in this, the overwork isn’t a character flaw. It’s a response. And understanding where it comes from is the first step.
Your Work Might Already Be Your Hobby
My uncle and my dad used to tell me something all the time: “If you love the work you’re doing, you’ll never work a day in your life.”
And when you’re a high performer who is genuinely energized by the work you do, it doesn’t feel like work. It just feels like the thing you love – that also happens to pay you. A lot of people who don’t get paid for that exact thing would call it a hobby.
So if you find yourself wondering why you have no life outside work – it might be because your work is your life in the best possible way. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
The only time having no hobbies is actually a problem is if you’re feeling depleted or your performance is suffering. That’s the signal to pay attention to.
Why You Have No Life Outside Work: 4 Questions to Ask Yourself
Before you go looking for hobbies, ask yourself whether you actually need them. Here are the four questions I walk through – using myself as the case study.
Question 1: What Activities Excite You and Bring You Energy Today?
Think about the things you’d do whether you were paid or not. What genuinely lights you up?
For me, these are:
- Physical fitness — I love moving my body and the dopamine hit that comes with it. Running, lifting, Peloton, whatever.
- Cooking — I genuinely enjoy making dinner from scratch. It’s creative, it’s tactile, and I love it for multiple reasons.
- Dancing — salsa dancing in particular was something I picked up during a phase of my life when I really needed a creative outlet.
- Music — I used to be a semi-professional cellist. Playing cello, piano, and guitar brings me enormous joy.
Question 2: What Activities Calm You and Reset Your Energy?
These are just as important as the energizing ones. What winds you down and restores you?
For me:
- Reading — I’ve loved it since I was a kid. I used to ride my bike to the library, finish a book in a day, and ride back the next morning for another one. I read three books this past holiday weekend.
- Puzzles and coloring — meditative, flow-state activities that let my brain decompress.
- Drawing and painting — I went to art school, so this has always been part of how I process and create.
- The beach and nature — being outside, listening to waves, hiking.
- Meditation — not just practicing it, but studying it. I find Buddhist meditation centers and the mechanics behind it genuinely fascinating.
Question 3: What Did You Love to Do as a Kid?
This one is one of the most powerful clues. What you loved before you had any pressure to be productive tells you a lot about what genuinely fulfills you.
For me as a kid:
- Sports — I played everything. Softball, field hockey, basketball, rollerblading. Always in motion.
- Drawing and painting — how I passed time and processed emotions when I was alone a lot as a kid.
- Making videos — I used to steal my dad’s Hi8 camera and make stop-motion animation videos with my Barbies. If YouTube existed then, who knows!
- Music — playing cello and piano were huge parts of my childhood.
Notice how many of these I still do in some form today. That’s not a coincidence.
Question 4: What Relationships Do You Miss or Crave Building?
This question helps you figure out whether you need solo, introspective hobbies or connection-based ones. Both are valid. But they serve very different needs.
Right now in my life, I have four kids, a husband, a family, coaching clients and speaking to thousands of people. I am not craving more social connection through hobbies. I crave fitness and meditation – things that restore me solo.
My husband is the opposite. He craves connection with other people – specifically other men in our community. His bowling league is perfect for him right now.
There’s no right answer. Just the honest one for you, right now.
Why You Have No Life Outside Work Might Not Be a Problem
Once you’ve worked through those four questions, look at how everything fits into your life right now.
For me, fitness is part of my daily self-care routine – not a chore, because I love it. Cooking brings me joy so I do it instead of outsourcing meal prep. Making videos is part of my business. I get to keep doing the things I love while building my career.
That wasn’t always the case. When I was working in corporate, my job wasn’t as creative – so salsa dancing filled that gap perfectly. It gave me physical fitness and creative expression all at once, at a time when I was a new single mom with very limited time. It served multiple needs in one.
The goal isn’t to have hobbies for the sake of it. The goal is to feel restored and fulfilled. If you work through these questions and find that you’re already there – you don’t need to change a thing. No matter what anyone tells you.
But if there are gaps – if you’re feeling depleted, uninspired, or like something is missing – now you have a clear framework to figure out exactly what to try next.
This is what I cover in depth as part of the Lack of Conditioning Overwhelm Culprit™ – one of the five culprits I break down in my book and workshops.
Find Out Which Overwhelm Culprit Is Holding You Back
If you’re feeling depleted, stuck, or like something is off but you can’t name it – there’s likely one of five culprits running the show. The Lack of Conditioning culprit is one of the most overlooked. And the free quiz will point you straight to yours in three minutes.
Take the free Overwhelm Culprit Quiz here.
Go Deeper With the Book
There’s a full chapter on the Lack of Conditioning culprit in my book – including even more strategies for figuring out what fulfills and restores you, and how to build those things into your life in a way that actually sticks.
The Five Overwhelm Culprits™: Strategies to Save Your Sanity Without Sacrificing Your Success is available now everywhere books are sold.
This is the book for the high-performing woman who refuses to slow down – but needs a smarter strategy to keep going without losing herself along the way.
CLICK FOR TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] How do you find other outlets when you’ve always been a high performer? I’ve never developed hobbies or ideas outside of building my career. Now, this resonates big time for me. This is a question I received during a recent private event Q&A while discussing the Lack of Conditioning Overwhelm Culprit, and I realized it’s a really great topic to cover here since if you are a workaholic, similar to me. Hobbies can feel really, really difficult to actually engage in.
But here’s the truth. It’s not about having specific hobbies for the sake of self-care. It’s about where you find both fulfillment as well as restoration, and those are both very different things.
If you’re a Type A overachiever and high performer who struggles with hobbies, whether that be feeling guilty or ashamed that you don’t have any, or maybe you really truly wanna have some but keep getting stuck on what to try, then you’re definitely gonna wanna stick around. By the end of this episode, you’ll know whether or not you even need hobbies and how to go about finding [00:01:00] ones that actually fulfill you today.
If you’re new here, hi, my name is Corrie LoGiudice, otherwise known as Corrie Lo. I’m a professional keynote speaker, facilitator, leadership expert, and author who helps high achievers transform overwhelm into confident leadership action, even in times of crisis.
So, as I mentioned, this question came up as part of a workshop audience Q&A, and it is really such a great question, and it actually resonated through the whole audience. Everyone was like, “Yeah, can you answer this question.” And I think the reason why is because it’s all too often that we talk about having hobbies as being an essential part of our self-care without actually acknowledging how difficult hobbies can feel for high performers.
I personally struggled with the definition of hobbies for years. I did a lot of work with my therapist on this too. And it’s commonly said that this trend for high achievers, in particular, stems from us focusing on [00:02:00] productivity and feeling lazy when you’re not working on something that’s productive.
So, hobbies in particular. If it’s something that you’re doing that’s not monetized or you’re not rewarded for in some way, shape or form. That can be really, really difficult for high performers to get on board for or to do without feeling some kind of, guilt or even shame surrounding wanting to spend time doing it.
And one of the things that I discovered over the years is that this could be a trauma response. And I know for me, this need to be able to over-perform really stemmed from a feeling in childhood anytime I was alone that I needed to be doing things to fill that time, ’cause I spent a lot of time alone as a young kid.
No fault to myself or my parents. I had a younger brother that was special needs that took their attention away from me, so I realized through inner child work that for me, my overwork was a trauma response. So for a lot of folks, it can end up coming from needing some sort of safety or protection or distraction from something that reminds them of their past.
[00:03:00] Now, the other thing that I found very difficult to wrap my head around when it came to discovering hobbies is something that my uncle told me for years when I was growing up. See, my uncle and my dad, they were both business partners and My uncle very recently passed away.
Rest in peace, Uncle Joe. But that said, he always, him and both my dad told me this one thing all the time, and it was, ” If you love the work that you’re doing, you’ll never work a day in your life.” And I watched them doing work that they love to do every single day, and it never felt like they were working for them.
So when you’re a high performer, which I would consider myself to be a high performer, and you truly love and are energized by the work that you’re doing, it doesn’t feel like work, right? So it just feels easier to work all the time and because your work, you just happen to be making money from the thing that you love doing.
Like a lot of folks who don’t monetize that, they would call that a hobby. But for folks who do have the ability to monetize it, that’s their hobby. [00:04:00] So you Don’t spend time doing anything else. So a lot of times you can feel judgment surrounding whether or not you have hobbies, especially if you’re successful in your career.
The only time, though, that having no hobbies at all or pastimes is an issue when you think about it is if you yourself are feeling depleted or your performance is suffering in some way, shape or form. So I’m gonna explain this in just a second, but before we dive into that, I would love to know what hobbies do you enjoy the most?
Drop them in the comments. You may inspire someone else out there to try them out. I know I’m gonna be sharing some ones that I enjoy on a regular basis as we go through the discussion.
So if you find yourself struggling with, “Hey, should I have hobbies at this point? Is there something wrong with me that I don’t?” Here are some questions that you can ask yourself to determine whether or not you even need them to begin with.
so first would be, what activities excite you and bring you energy today? And there’s a method for my madness, so stick with me [00:05:00] as we walk through this process. So using myself as the case study. If I were to list out activities that I thoroughly enjoy, that I would do if I was getting paid for it, that I would do if I wasn’t getting paid for it.
It would be things like physical fitness. I absolutely love moving my body and the dopamine high that I get from that. Whether it be running or lifting weights or even just Peloton, whatever that looks like. I love physical fitness. So that’s one of them. Another one would be cooking. I really enjoy, at the end of the day, making dinner from scratch.
I’ve always loved cooking. I like that it’s creative. There’s so many reasons why I enjoy, cooking from multiple different standpoints. Another one for me that I love is dancing. In particular, salsa dancing was something that I picked up, during a timeframe where I really needed that kind of creative outlet.
Gonna talk about that in just a little bit as we go through these questions. And then another activity that I love and enjoy is playing music. So not just dancing to music and listening to music, but also playing music.
So [00:06:00] looking at my background, a lot of folks don’t know this about me, I used to be a semi-professional cellist, so I love playing cello. I love playing piano. I love playing guitar. So playing music, listening to music, dancing to music. Those are all things that bring me great joy.
Now, another question to ask yourself is what activities calm you and reset your energy, right? So where before we were looking for what activities bring up energy for you. What are activities that wind you down? Because these are just as important. So again, myself as the case study, activities that help me wind down and restore myself would be things like reading. Oh my goodness, when I was a kid, I used to literally ride my bike to the library.
I would take out a book, and this is during the summer when we had no school. I would take out a book. I would read that book in that day, the very next day, ride back to the library and read another book. So as you can see, even as a very young kid, I was tying in two things. Something that brought up my energy and something that brought down my energy on a daily basis. [00:07:00] Between riding the bike, to go get the book and then getting a book. So I love, love, love reading and still read. I’ve read three books this weekend, the holiday weekend. So that’s number one. Other things that I enjoy that I honestly should probably do more often. I like things like puzzles, things that are more meditative that you can work on and kinda chip away.
Coloring is another one that I like, if I’m not making art. Drawing and painting is something that I enjoy as well, that kinda winds me down. It puts me into a flow state. My background before I was even in business or running businesses for my family’s or running my own was I was a trained fine artist.
I went to art school. So who would’ve thought? But that’s that. So that’s an activity, and then other things that I like would be going to the beach. So being outdoors, listening to the waves, having a picnic at the beach, hiking outdoors.
Meditation in particular is another one that helps me wind down. I really enjoy it. And what I find fascinating is studying meditation. So not just practicing it, but going to Buddhist meditation centers and actually learning the mechanics behind [00:08:00] it. I find that fascinating and very rewarding. So that kind of covers what are activities that energize you now and wind you down now as an adult.
The next step to this question, which is very helpful when you’re trying to think of hobbies that you might wanna do now if you are stumped for hobbies that you wanna do now. Is, what activities did you enjoy as a kid? What did you absolutely love to do?
So again, using myself as the case study, some of them are very similar to the things I enjoy doing now. So I was an athlete as a kid. I loved sports. I played everything from softball, to field hockey, to basketball, running, rollerblading, you name it. I was always in motion, which is not all that different to me as an adult.
Another one, drawing. I absolutely love drawing and painting. Drawing and painting is how I passed time when I was alone a lot as a kid, so it was a very comforting thing for me. But that was a hobby that I absolutely loved, and I almost made a career out of.
Another one which I’m gonna bring up because it’s important in context to you watching this video, I loved making videos as a kid. I [00:09:00] used to steal my dad’s Hi8 video camera back in the ’80s. And I used to make stop-motion animation videos with my Barbies and stuff. So I wish that YouTube existed when I was a kid. I would’ve been, like, a mega influencer. But for right now making videos is still something I really enjoy, which is why you see it through things like my marketing. So making videos is one of them.
Music and instruments, again, I played cello. I was a pianist. So those were all things that I loved. And notice how many of them I try to bring into my adult activities.
Now, the next question to ask yourself is what relationships do you miss or crave building again? Now, this question is important for context because are you craving hobbies that you do solo by yourself that are more meditative, that put you into a flow state, or are you craving hobbies that allow you to build relationships and connections?
So as a great example for me right now, I honestly, I don’t want more relationships. I love people. I love connecting with people. My family has grown significantly over the last half a [00:10:00] decade. I am tapped out between my four kids and my spouse and my family and my clients and speaking to audiences of thousands of people at a time. I’m not craving through my hobbies, wanting to do more relationship or people-focused stuff.
So for right now, in this phase of my life, I’m not craving salsa dancing. But I do crave things like meditation or fitness or things that allow me to focus on myself. Those are things that I enjoy. Now, my husband, on the other hand, he’s been craving connections with other people, in particular other men within our community, so he loves going to his bowling league. He does a bowling league. It gets him out of the house and with adults, and he loves that.
So it’s important as you’re going through and deciding, “Hey, do I need hobbies? And if so, which hobbies am I looking for?” That you’re thinking of, ” “Okay, how do I wanna be filling my cup? ” Is it through energetic connections through other people, or do I need more introspective hobbies and time for myself?
So then from there, you can identify how do all of these [00:11:00] activities that you just list out fit into your work and life today? So when you go through and you look at my life on a regular basis, ‘ cause I’m the easiest case study. Things like fitness, obviously, they’re very important for my physical and mental health, but it’s something I love and enjoy, so it’s not a chore for me to go and do it.
But I do do it every single day as part of my standard self-care routine. Same thing, I enjoy cooking, so instead of outsourcing, things like, different meal prep services and stuff like that. I like to cook, so that is something that I do, proactively that brings me a lot of joy, and especially cooking with my kids.
Activities even like making videos, I do it as part of my business. So I still get to, play around with that hobby, but it goes towards my business and my career as opposed to just being a hobby for myself.
So there are ways to, in your work, if your work involves doing activities that are the things that fill your cup, why should you feel bad about not having more stuff to fill your cup?
That just doesn’t make any sense to me. So if you find based on this exploration and these questions that you ask [00:12:00] yourself that you are checking off all the boxes, you may not need a hobby at all. You may be perfectly happy with where you’re at right now. So identify how are these activities currently fitting into your work and your life right now, and do you need to add or change anything?
Because the underlying goal is you wanna feel restored and fulfilled starting today. So as a great example, back when I was working in my former career, that was really when I was doing more of the salsa dancing because I didn’t have as much of the creative outlets as I do in my business.
My business is very creative now. I’m an author. I’m a speaker. I’m writing all the time. I’m creating content. It’s a very creative business.
When I worked in corporate before, it wasn’t as creative. Granted, I did work on the advertising side, but that was a phase in my life when I loved salsa dancing. I really looked forward to it because it allowed me to get that physical fitness again, as well as the creativity of the dancing all in one because I was a new single mom and I didn’t have a lot of time for stuff. So for me to carve out time to do an activity like that was great because it took care [00:13:00] of multiple different things that I needed to feel fulfilled during that season of my life.
So to recap everything that we just kinda talked through, when you’re exploring whether or not you really need hobbies or whether the hobbies that you are doing are working for you or even your business. If you’re a workaholic, can your business or your work check off those box’s? You wanna be asking yourself what activities energize you? What activities are restoring you? Then from there, what activities did you love doing as a kid? And then exploring what relationships are you craving now?
From there, how do those findings reflect on your life today? If you find there are some gaps, then by all means, explore some fun hobbies that are based around what you discovered through the exercise.
If not, and you are feeling fulfilled and you are happy and you are energized and you are restored, then guess what? You don’t need to change a thing no matter what anybody tells you.
So hopefully you found my sharing this today helpful. If you have any questions at all that you’d like me to answer, feel free to leave a comment below [00:14:00] or to send me a DM. I’m most active on LinkedIn. I just may feature your question on a future episode.
And as mentioned before, I cover the Lack of Conditioning Culprit in detail. There’s a full chapter on it with even more strategies in my book, The Five Overwhelm Culprits™, which is also available to purchase in the show notes.
And you can also learn more ways to work with me, whether that be one-on-one through coaching and advisory or through speaking and keynotes for your organization and team in the show notes as well.
So thank you so much for being here, and I will see you on the next episode. We’ll see you there.
Thanks for checking out the Next Step with Corrie Lo. If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend, subscribe, and leave a review. Together, we’ll transform overwhelm into action, and we’ll keep taking the next step towards confident leadership. See you next time