Ever catch yourself apologizing for things that didn’t need an apology? Maybe you’ve said “sorry for the delay” when you replied within ten minutes. I used to do this constantly and I’ve seen so many brilliant women do the same.
In this post, I’ll share how to replace seven common “sorry” phrases with language that helps you speak clearly, project confidence and master assertive communication for women at work.
Why Over-Apologizing Hurts Assertive Communication for Women
When women apologize unnecessarily, we unintentionally shrink our authority. It sends the message that we’ve done something wrong, even when we haven’t. I believe empathy and accountability are important – but not at the cost of our credibility.
As a professional speaker and high-performance coach, I teach women how to communicate confidently without losing compassion. It starts with one simple step: reframing how we speak.
7 Powerful Swaps to Strengthen Assertive Communication for Women
1. “Sorry for the delay” → “Thanks for your patience.”
Replace apology with appreciation. It acknowledges the other person without implying guilt.
2. “Sorry, can I add something?” → “I’d like to build on that.”
You deserve to speak. This phrase positions you as a contributor, not an interrupter.
3. “Sorry if that’s a dumb question” → “Here’s something I’m curious about.”
Curiosity shows engagement, not weakness. Confidence sounds like curiosity.
4. “Sorry I missed that meeting” → “I’ll catch up on the notes and follow up.”
Accountability doesn’t require apology – action builds more trust than guilt.
5. “Sorry, I just wanted to…” → “I wanted to…”
The word “just” minimizes your voice. Drop it completely.
6. “Sorry for venting” → “Thank you for listening.”
Gratitude keeps conversations relational instead of apologetic.
7. “Sorry, but…” → “Here’s my perspective.”
Own your point of view. You don’t need to apologize for having one.
Assertive Communication for Women Means Speaking with Clarity and Compassion
Assertiveness isn’t about being harsh – it’s about honesty with empathy. When we use language that’s direct and respectful, we model what confident leadership looks like.
I’ve seen this shift transform my clients’ careers. They start contributing more in meetings, setting boundaries with ease, and being recognized as the leaders they already are.
Why This Matters Right Now
Women make up most of the workforce but still hold fewer leadership positions. The way we communicate directly affects how we’re perceived – and how far we advance.
Every time we replace an unnecessary apology with confident language, we create space for our voices to be heard.
Next Steps
If you’d like to go deeper into assertive communication for women, I cover this in my Say it Like a Leader: The V.O.I.C.E Method” instant-workshop and in my coaching work.
Learn more about my coaching programs or bring this topic to your team through my speaking engagements.
And if you want to connect on this topic, join me on LinkedIn – I’d love to hear which “sorry” phrase you’re letting go of first.
CLICK FOR TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Ever catch yourself saying sorry for things that didn’t even need an apology to begin with? Like, “sorry for the delay”, when you were literally responding within 10 minutes.
In this video, I’m gonna show you seven simple swaps that’ll help you stop shrinking your confidence at work and say what you really mean without the guilt.
Hi there, if you’re do here. My name is Corrie Loiudice, otherwise known as Corrie Lo. I am a professional keynote speaker, high performance coach, and forthcoming author of the book, the Five Overwhelm Culprits, and I help high performers, especially women, stop over apologizing and start communicating with confidence.
When I work with clients, we don’t just erase empathy, we replace unnecessary apologies with clear, confident language. Here’s how you could start doing that right now.
Because it’s not super efficient to rely on fixed scripts. We’re gonna frame these as patterns and [00:01:00] principles with examples. So each one I share is gonna include the over apology pattern, what’s really being communicated and from there, a power reframe that preserves empathy while also projecting authority.
So phrase number one, ” sorry for the delay”. This is going to become “thanks for your patience.” So you’re gonna start off by swapping apologies for appreciation. This works beautifully because you’re acknowledging the other person without assuming that you did anything wrong.
Phrase number two is, ” sorry, can I add something?” To instead “i’d like to build on that.” So here’s the problem, apologizing before speaking signals that you don’t deserve the floor. It makes other people second guess whether or not you should even be having input on whatever the conversation is. So instead, try the phrase, I’d like to build on that, or let me offer another perspective.
This ultimately positions you [00:02:00] as a contributor and not as an interrupter so it’s a win-win for everybody.
Phrase number three. ” Sorry if that’s a dumb question” to, “here’s something I’m curious about.” Here’s the problem. You’re not dumb, you’re engaged. Curiosity is actually confidence. So by replacing the phrase that’s filled with self-doubt, with curiosity forward language, you’re ultimately demonstrating for people that your question is rooted in curiosity and wanting to engage and further the conversation and not in that you had any kind of issues processing what was positioned before it.
Phrase number four. ” Sorry, I missed that meeting can be repositioned” to “I’ll catch up on the notes and I’ll follow up if I have any questions.”
It’s so important to know that accountability doesn’t require any sort of apology. The next clear action in communicating what that action is builds far more trust than a simple, “I’m [00:03:00] sorry”, just for the sake of saying it.
Phrase number five, ” sorry I just wanted to”, we’re gonna reframe that to, “I wanted to”, or “here’s what I need.”
Anytime you throw the word just into a statement, it minimizes your request, so let’s just drop it altogether. You don’t need permission to communicate and be a part of the conversation.
Phrase number six, ” sorry for venting.” We’re going to, again, reframe that with, appreciation and say “thank you for listening.” Especially in terms of peer or team relationships. Gratitude is always gonna help keep things relational instead of apologetic.
And last but not least, phrase seven, ” sorry but” we’re gonna shift that to, “here’s my perspective.” Anytime you start anything off with, “sorry but” it softens whatever, follows that statement and undermines your message. [00:04:00] So own your viewpoint. There’s no need to apologize for having one.
So in summary, the goal isn’t to delete, sorry, outta your vocabulary all together. I mean, truth was, I did a reel on this and on LinkedIn it went viral because so many people were saying, Corrie, leaders need to be able to apologize when apologies are due. And of course, like no one is arguing that, sorry, definitely deserves a place in our vocabulary, but sorry, should not be our default anytime that we show up to something where an apology isn’t necessarily needed.
Because it ends up undermining our authority and we can’t show up and communicate as confident leaders if we are apologizing every other word . So it’s about using, sorry, when it is appropriate, like when you’ve truly made a mistake or you’ve caused somebody harm, not just as a default reflex to shrink your authority because you don’t believe that you belong in the room.
So I’d love to know what [00:05:00] is one phrase that you notice yourself apologizing for the most? Go ahead, drop it in the comments. Send me a DM on most active on LinkedIn, and I’ll reply with a power reframe that you could start using instead. And if you wanna go deeper on this kind of confidence work, this is a huge part of the work that I do in both my coaching as well as my speaking engagements. So I help, high performing professionals, especially women, communicate with clarity and authority, whether that’s in meetings on the stage or in everyday conversations.
You can learn more about coaching or bringing this topic to your team through the links in the show notes below.
Thank you so much for being here , hopefully you found this valuable if you would like to see a spinoff on this topic or have an additional question related to it. This has been a really hot topic. I’ve gotten so much feedback in the comments on LinkedIn on this. Definitely go ahead, comment, send me a dm, send my team an email.
We would love to hear where you would like us to take this topic so I could create [00:06:00] future videos just like this for you. So hopefully you found this valuable and I look forward to seeing you on the next episode. I’ll see you there.
Thanks for checking out the next step with Corrie Lo. If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend, subscribe and leave a review. Together we’ll transform overwhelm into action and we’ll keep taking the next step towards competent leadership. See you next time.