Do you feel stretched too thin, constantly saying yes when you want to say no? Without clear boundaries, it’s easy for other people’s needs to consume your time and energy, leaving you exhausted and unfocused.
Setting boundaries isn’t selfish—it’s necessary for protecting your energy and maintaining focus on what matters most. In this post, we’ll explore how to protect your personal boundaries with five actionable steps you can start using today.
Why Boundaries Matter
Boundaries help you manage your time, energy, and emotional well-being. Without them, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and burnt out.
According to a survey by the Thriving Center of Psychology, over 58% of Americans struggle to say no, with 68% of them being women. This shows that setting boundaries is a common challenge, especially for women balancing work, family, and personal responsibilities.
By learning how to protect your personal boundaries, you can reclaim control over your time and reduce stress.
How to Protect Your Personal Boundaries in 5 Steps
1. Get Clear on Your Priorities
Before you can learn how to protect your personal boundaries, you need to know what matters most to you. Your boundaries should align with your core values and long-term vision.
- Identify your top three priorities.
- Ensure your boundaries support these priorities.
- If you’re unsure of your values, check out this episode on creating a five-year vision.
2. Identify Where You Need Boundaries
Think about areas where you feel overextended or frustrated. These are signals that you need stronger boundaries.
Common areas where boundaries may be needed:
- Work: Saying yes to extra projects outside your role.
- Family: Being constantly available for every request.
- Social Life: Attending events you don’t want to go to.
Write down situations where you often feel drained. This will help you recognize where to implement boundaries.
3. Communicate Your Boundaries Clearly
Once you know where you need boundaries, communicate them confidently. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean being rude—it means being firm and respectful.
Example: If a coworker keeps assigning last-minute tasks, you can say:
“I’m happy to help, but I need more advance notice to give this task the attention it deserves.”
Use clear, polite language to reinforce your boundaries.
4. Practice Saying No
Saying no is a skill that gets easier with practice. If you’re a people-pleaser, start with small, low-stakes situations to build confidence.
Instead of over-explaining, try simple responses like:
- “I appreciate the invite, but I can’t make it this time.”
- “I’m not available for that, but I hope it goes well!”
The more you practice, the easier it becomes.
5. Stay Consistent
Boundaries only work if you enforce them. If someone pushes back, stand firm. You don’t owe anyone long explanations—just a simple, direct response.
Example: If someone ignores your boundary, repeat it confidently:
“As I mentioned, I’m no longer available on weekends.”
Consistency is key to making your boundaries effective.
Final Thoughts
Learning how to protect your personal boundaries is a game-changer for your energy, focus, and overall well-being. By getting clear on your priorities, setting limits, and standing firm, you’ll feel more in control of your life.
Your next step: Identify one boundary you need to set this week and start implementing it.
Need help brainstorming boundaries? Download my Boundary Blueprint Cheat Sheet below to get started.
CLICK FOR TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00]
Do you ever feel stretched too thin? Like you’re constantly saying yes instead of saying no? If so you’re not alone.
Without healthy boundaries, especially as a working woman, it makes it that much easier for other people’s needs and demands to take up your time and energy. Ultimately leaving you feel completely drained. Not to mention unfocused.
In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about how to set healthy boundaries in your relationship, whether that be at work or at home or everywhere in between.
That way you could protect your energy and stay focused on what matters most.
You’re listening to The Next Step with Cori Lowe, where we transform overwhelm into confident action. I’m Cori Logaitis, keynote speaker, coach, and working mama for here to help ambitious women just like you take the next step, whether that be leadership at work, at home, or in your community. Let’s get started.
I used to think that saying yes to everything made me not just a better leader, but also a better mom. And I don’t know [00:01:00] about you, but I know for many years I modeled this by looking at all the other women in my life who did the exact same thing.
But all this did was leave me exhausted and resentful to the point that one year I was discussing it with my therapist and we decided this was something that I really needed to address.
I realized that without boundaries, I was never going to be able to show up as my best self. So I had embarked on an entire year where I, my word of the year was boundaries. And that was my number one priority.
And here’s what I learned along the way. And it’s this.
Setting boundaries isn’t selfish. It’s necessary.
Boundaries allow you to prioritize what truly matters as well as avoid burnout.
Now this does come with its fair share challenges. I know for me, some of the ones that popped up was the number one, the fear of disappointing other people. Right? That or worse yet being seen [00:02:00] as “difficult”.
Then after that, you have to deal with the guilt of letting people around you down.
You feel guilty about putting yourself first, it’s like, who does that?
And then there’s also the frustration, the struggle of knowing where exactly do you draw the line, like having clarity on what that would even look like.
Now, this is something that if you don’t take control of your own time, other people are going to do it for you. And truth is. Majority of people lean towards the camp of allowing other people to choose it for them. Let me explain.
According to a survey conducted by the thriving center of psychology. Over 58% of Americans admitted to having difficulty saying no to others.
Of that group, 68% of them were women
and from there over 60% of them admitted to being self-professed people pleasers and 48% of them admitted to go into an event they didn’t even want to go to.
For those of you who are listening to this saying like, [00:03:00] enough’s enough. I need to deal with this. Not unlike I did all those years ago, when I set my word of the year for being boundaries. Here’s five steps that you could start taking immediately to start to actually implement them slowly without the guilt.
First you have to get clear on your priorities. So your boundaries should align with your values as well as your overall vision, five-year vision, goals, whatever you want to call it. If this is something that new to you, you might want to check out the first couple of episodes. I believe it was episode two, where we discuss creating a five-year vision as well as selecting values.
Right. That really helps you get clear on priorities from there. So that’s really the very, very first step.
Because the truth is if you’re unclear on what actually matters to you, you’re not going to know where to draw that line.
Next up, you’re going to write down your top three priorities. These are gonna set as guides for those boundaries that we’re talking about.
Now from [00:04:00] there it’s time to identify where is it that you actually need to implement the boundaries.
So I want you to think about the areas of your life or your career, where you feel overextended and frustrated.
Maybe it’s saying yes to too many social events, or maybe you’re just done with constantly being available for your kids.
And you want them to ask, you know, your partner or dad instead.
Next you’re going to need to be able to communicate your boundaries clearly.
Now the way that you deliver your boundary is important. It’s not necessarily a negative thing. You don’t have to upset somebody, right?
You need to be firm, but respectful.
So as an example, let’s say a coworker keeps assigning you last minute tasks. Like it’s five minutes before you’re supposed to be out the door and they’re dropping something new on your desk.
One way that you could choose to respond would say. “Hey, I’m happy to help, but next time I need more advanced notice. So I can really give this task the attention and time that it deserves.”
Next up it’s time [00:05:00] to practice saying no.
Saying no is a skill. And honestly, it’s difficult, especially if you’re a self-professed people pleaser like I once was. But with practice, it gets so much easier.
Now, one quick tip for this is especially if it’s something that stresses you out, that you’re worried that you’re going to upset other people by putting your boundary out there is to start with small manageable asks.
Right. Low stakes situations are ultimately going to help build your confidence. The more times that you do it and the more times people don’t react the way that you’re afraid that they’re going to.
And from there really it’s about staying consistent and continuing to enforce those boundaries.
Boundaries are only going to work if you stick to them so you have to be prepared to follow through with it. It doesn’t matter who that boundaries with, whether it be your boss or your child or your spouse. You’ve got to stick with it if you want to see a change, remember the change starts with you.
So as an example, if somebody ignores your boundary, a response can simply be something like, “As I mentioned, [00:06:00] I’m no longer available on weekends.” Right, quick to the point, no emotion.
So there you have it today. We talked about the importance of boundaries when it comes to relationships. As well as why they’re so difficult to implement, to begin with.
We also talked about five simple steps that you could take to implement ones, to protect your energy and focus and do so in a guilt free, stress free manner.
Your next step is to identify one, just one boundary that you need to practice and start implementing this week.
And if you want some help brainstorming some different boundaries that might be applicable to you. Go ahead and download my free checklist in the show notes.
Thank you so, so much for joining me today. I understand exactly how hard boundaries are to implement and to manage. It’s something I’ve struggled with myself and know and speak with experience that once you do master them, it really can help you prioritize your goals and [00:07:00] wellbeing and take you to the next level.
Next week, you’re going to be diving into the power of support networks. Right. What kind of support you need? Who should you have in your network to support you? And how to go about finding them. So, if you’ve been looking to increase your circle, you’re not going to want to miss it. I’ll see you there.
Thanks for checking out the next step with Corrie Lo. If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend, subscribe, and leave a review. Together we’ll transform overwhelm into action and we’ll keep taking the next step towards competent leadership. See you next time.